I’m not here to tell anyone not to take pictures of food. I love that shit. But in the pictures of foods world, there’s a lot of shit that deserves a picture be taken, and then there’s other shit, that you should just fuck off and eat. I’m guilty of this, and we all are. Drunk as fuck, take a picture of whatever pile of drunk food you’re about to stuff in your mouth, wake up the next day and look at the picture you posted, and call yourself a fat fuck. I’m all for a picture of food if it’s some famous shit, or something so ridiculous it shouldn’t even be eaten, but the pictures of all the same shit has got to stop folks.
I love sushi, but shit all looks the same. Go ahead, search Instagram, over 5 million pictures…of fucking rice and fish. No one cares about your overpriced special roll and your bento box. Stuff it in your mouth and move on.
Pizza is the best. Honestly, there it’s a better food out there. Cheese, sauce, crust it’s all great, load it up with anything, and stuff face. We don’t need a picture of your shitty pie. No one cares about the scratch made pizza you made in your shitty kitchen, it doesn’t look good, looks all half assed and burnt as shit.
This needs to stop. A picture of a dead cow. That’s what you choose to post. I don’t give a shit about your 30 day dry aged filet or strip. Stick a fork in it, stick it in your mouth, shit it out. Done. This goes for raw steaks too. I don’t care how marbled your piece of meat is. Cook it, eat it, shit it. Another thing, no one gives a shit about your diamond grill marks. Shits stupid and just for show. Just cook your steak fancy pants. And stop putting Montreal steak seasoning on your steak, shits a joke. Salt, pepper, flame that’s it tough guy
Oysters are great. Salty, briny, each one has a unique taste to where it’s from. You know what’s not great? A picture of these slimy little cocks. Looks like a tray of snot. Unless you have about 200 of these in front of you and are planning to eat them all, keep your 4S in your pocket.
I get it. Cute little muffins with frosting. Everyone out there is a fucking cupcake mastermind. Cupcake stores are popping up left and right. Cookie dough cupcakes, pokeman cupcakes, you name it, someones fuckin’ doing it. Here’s another one. Almost 5 million pictures on Instagram, and I don’t see that many fat fucks walking around. I rarely see another person eating a cupcake, so whose taking all these pictures? I mean, I love cupcakes, dont get me wrong, all the wild flavors and styles, but pictures of these cute little pieces of shit just has to stop.
So keep this in mind next time you go to take a shot of whatever garbage is on your plate. Have a little respect for yourself. and food lovers around the globe. And to those of you who are “too cool” to take pictures of food and hate on us who do…go fuck yourself with your selfies and your freshly painted nails. Kiss my ass with that shit.