When it comes to fast food places and the northeast, we have the fucked end of the stick. There are 13 Dunkin Donuts in my fucking town and not a single whataburger or anything cool. This is pretty much a follow up to the Hardee’s post.
Taco del Mar and Del taco
Nothing really special about these places. I think the attraction I have with these fuckers is that they are different than the dumpy Taco Bell we are all used to. Del Taco offers all sorts of tacos, burritos, and some burgers, they also have different specials during the week so that’s pretty fucking rad.
Taco del Mar is a little more basic with a build it yourself deal going on. Pick your taco,burrito,nacho,enchilada or what’re the fuck ever, choose a meat,fish,or veggie, pick a side, pick some salas, and stuff your fat ass up.
Nothin crazy here folks. Grubby little place. Great when your drunk as shit and want a greasy chili dog for a buck, or my personal favorite, the chili cheese fry burrito.
Whataburger is the tits it really is. The first time I had this shit was in Texas I think and I feel face over gut for these burgers. They offer what I dub jacked up burgers. These things are huge as fuck and have all sorts of great toppings. Want a patty melt with Monterey jack cheese, pepper sauce, and grilled onions? Whataburger Patty Melt sucker. Classic old jalapeño and cheese? Jalapeño and Cheese whataburger player. How about a two patty burger with Monterey and American cheese topped with roasted green chiles? The Green Chili Double is for you playboy.
You get the point I could do this with the whole menu. Bottom line is, Whataburger is great, and we fucking need that shit up here.
The first time I tried this bitch was the first time I was in San Diego. Probably the first hour we were there. Holy dick. It’s basically a line up of fat burgers from small fatburger, to fucking XXXL fatburger. They’re everything you think they are. Everything a burger should be. Big, fat, fuggin greezy. All you really need to know is if you ever spot one of these joints, pop on it and fatten up buddy.
I realize there are Roy Rogers establishments in the North East, but not like they used to be. Most of them now are at dumpy fucking rest stops. Shit, there used to be one in my town and they ripped that shit down to build a bridge, and they didn’t even name it The Gold Rush Chicken Bridge. I can’t eat a fucking bridge. Fuck outta here with that. If Roy came back to town Ronald, Grimace, and Hamburglar would be shaking in their fuckin boots. You can’t compete with the Goldrush Chicken Sandwich…and that’s only one item! Roast beef sliders, mashed potatos, baked beans! You can’t fuck with this. Did I forget to mention the small help yourself condiment table or whatever the fuck ever. Pickles? Help your self bro. We all know about Roy Rogers, we all love it, and we all want it back in full force. Someone make this shit happen.
Chik-fil-A might have made the cut at one point, but not after all that same sex marriage controversy. I mean I hate some shit, but not like this. Everyone has the right to get fat and make out with whoever the fuck they want.
Who didn’t see this coming
? Saved the best for last. Anyone who has ever had In-N-Out is getting the same feeling I’m getting right now. Just a simple “fuck yeah”. Ordering here is real easy. Don’t get a single burger because that’s for idiots. Go with a double double, or 3×3, or 4×4, and so on. The burgers are extra greasy to help them slip and slide down your tummy tube.
Animal style. What’s animal style you ask? Animal style is every way you should get everything you order from here. Drinks, burgers, fries, everything. All it is, is basically a special sauce with grilled onions…and goes fucking great on everything. Put it on your hat and eat that shit. I ain’t judging.
So there is is. These places are all over the country, but not in the heart of this county. We need these shits here. Clogging the arteries of this countries heart.