The miracle berry. I know you’re asking yourself…the fuck is a miracle berry? Is it another diet berry gimmick?
“Eat 3 miracle berries a day and lose up to 78 pounds a week!”
The miracle berry is basically LSD for your taste buds. It enhances and changes the flavor profiles of every day foods, and shit you might not normally eat. My first trip involved a lot of lemon juice, vinegar, and straw-fuckin’-berries.
You start your trip by dissolving a small pink pill on your tongue (A little familiar for some of you fuckin’ go hards I’m sure). It takes a few minutes to dissolve. The taste resembles something of a children’s Tylenol that gang banged a raspberry shrub.
Once this shit has dissolved just go nuts. You might want to have a sample plate ready with a bunch of shit to try.
Here’s what we tried at the #EatLikeShit camp:
-Lemon Juice. Tasted like fuckin’ lemonade
-Vinegar. Tasted like a sour lemonade
-Balsamic Vinegar. Tasted like balsamic fruit juice.
-Strawberries. These things were almost too sweet to even eat. This shit hurt the back of my brain.
-Mustard. Regular ass yellow mustard tasted like honey mustard.
-Chocolate Covered Berries. At this point I think my mouth was just fucked because I couldn’t taste the chocolate but I could taste the berries and they were sweet as all hell.
So there you have it. The miracle berry. Definitely a good time to be had with these things for all you food cronies.