Poor Bastards Lunchbox: Do-it-yourself Hot Pockets



Hot Pockets. Nothing positive to say about these microwavable fire bricks. Dry ass crust, freezer burned, molten fuck center. Step your game up and make this shit at home. It’s way better, trust me, I know what the fuck I’m talking about.

All you need for this shit is some bread, cheese, fillers of choice, and some egg. Its basically a french toast, but we’re going to call it the Poor Bastards Hot Pocket because we fuckin’ are.





Start our by steam rolling two slices of bread playboy.





Next comes the fun part. Layer on your choice insides. Don’t be shy. Stack that shit up.


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Next hit the edges with some butter or egg wash…. directly around your shit stack





take your second steam rolled slice of bread and place on top of this sick fucker. Press the edges down all nice and tight. After that cut off that shitty crust. No one enjoys shitty bread crust.


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Cool now you’re ready to cook this bitch. Drop that shit in an egg wash and cook it just like a piece of french-the-fuck-toast. If you don’t know how to make french toast get the fuck out of here.


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Flip once, and if you’re a pro like me you’ll crisp up the edges too.





Now dive in player.


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