As a male who grew up in this world, I can clearly remember being at an age where sticking my dick in random shit was a great idea. Still is a great idea even near my 30’s. While my creativity has gone downhill, my desire has remained much the same. There’s a long history of dudes sticking their dick in random shit, but this fuckin’ kid changed the game. Sticking your dick in a hot pocket is one thing, but to handle it the way this cat did is pure awesomeness.
Below is his interview found on firstwefeast.com
(Source) — Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t get famous for doing something completely moronic on the Internet. Case in point: This week, one enterprising young man tweeting under the handle @VERSACEPOPTARTS (a.k.a., Thot Pocket) skyrocketed to the heights of social media celebrity/infamy by documenting his sexual exploits with a microwaved Hot Pocket.
The madness began when he posted a Vine of himself violating a box of brown-sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts on Vine. The clip was quickly removed, but Thot Pocket took to Twitter to celebrate his conquest. Emboldened by the response, he decided that he was not put on this earth to fornicate with cardboard boxes. alone He had hotter (literally) snack foods to bed. He called upon the wise masses of the Twitterphere to cheer-lead him to greatness. First We Feast sat down with him:
Take me through the actual experience of Hot Pocket penetration.
Ah shit, dude. I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, “Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.” So I kinda like did the Vine—I wasn’t planning on starting to all this shit. I asked some kid if I should post, like, a shock picture, and he was like, “Yeah dude, do it, those are the best.”
When you heated it up, did you follow the instructions on the box as if you were going to actually eat a Hot Pocket, or did you try to figure out how to make it kind of warm but not too hot?
[Laughs] I have, like, a strong-ass microwave so I don’t even read boxes or anything. I put it in for, like, four minutes I think.
What kind of Hot Pocket was it?
Ham and cheese.
Why did you pick that one?
Um, it’s just the only one…I got out of work and I stopped at a convenience store because I knew I hit the goal on my retweets or whatever.
When you hit the goal did you have a moment of realization like, “Oh wait, now I actually have to do this?”
Well, I knew I was gonna hit the goal no matter what because I’d already done crazy shit. But then it was the fact of actually going and posting it…I was kind of hesitant at first. I mean, my name’s got out there, but people don’t really know who I am. I don’t know—I feel like it’s gonna, like, fuck shit up maybe in the future. I was kind of on a roll of Twitter fame anyways, but I know that all of that shit doesn’t fucking matter.
How many followers did you gain from the Pop Tarts and Hot Pocket stunts?
The Pop Tart one was like a thousand, and then the Hot Pocket one was literally like 6,000…but then I got suspended.
So do you regret putting your face out there?
I don’t really care. I haven’t gotten noticed in public yet. And I’m still young—I’m 18—so it’s not like I’m gonna still look like this in three years.
As long as you’re actual name isn’t out there…
Yeah, pretty much… I mean, it is out there, though. I might have to get my name changed. I wanted to work with that account though—that’s just my sense of humor. I wasn’t taking it serious. Some people were like, “This guy fucks Hot Pockets!” Nah, I did it one time, motherfucker.
Be honest: Was it a good feeling? Sticking your dick in a Hot Pocket.
Yeah, I would definitely recommend it, if you’re lonely. I wouldn’t recommend putting it on Vine, but I’d recommend fuckin’ a Hot Pocket probably. It wasn’t bad. It’s messy, though.