What To Do With Those Shitty Thanksgiving Leftovers

Your greasy family has left your temple. Bellies full of your hard work and slaving away in a hot kitchen, while they drink your booze and fart on your fucking furniture. If they aren’t total grease juggernauts they may have left you with some leftovers to fuck around with.

Leftover turkey soup? Fuck that.

Thanksgiving sandwich? Amateur fucking hour.

Let me clear your mind and clean your fridge out with these amazing thanksgiving leftover recipes bitches.

THANKSGIVING SUSHI.

Yeah, you fucking heard me.

I love ruining an art that has been perfected over hundreds of years by skilled chefs. Sushi. Ive already blistered the sushi buttonhole with my Ramen Sushi and my Poutine Sushi, so why not open that blister up and let the puss run out. Thanksgiving sushi. The only sushi Jiro should be dreaming about.

 

If your grubby Grandfather didn’t pick off every little slice of crispy delicious skin like a fucking dick you’ll be able to pull this off.

This fairy tale goes like this. Sushi rolling mat, lay some turkey skin on that followed by some stuffing to take place of shitty fucking white rice. Lay down some turkey and some slivered cranberry sauce. Fuckin’ cranberry slivers bro. Start rolling that shit up.

 

I wanted to incorporate wasabi somehow, so I mixed some wasabi 50/50 with some creamy and buttery as all fuck mashed potato. Drizzled the Thanksgiving Roll with that along with some brown gravy and fucked your mothers mouth.

sushi edit

LEFTOVER STUFFING SHRIMP SPINACH BALLS

Fuck you.

At this point in our cyber relationship most of you are probably aware that I am Captain Cocksuck of stuffing bread based foods inside of some other bread. My tits ain’t gonna grow themselves ya heard?

All this shit calls for is some leftover stuffing, cheese, egg, bread crumbs, spinach and shrimp if your fat fucking aunt didn’t slurp down the whole fucking platter like they were the last shrimp in the world. If that is the case however, your aunt is a bitch and just use some turkey instead.

-3 CUPS OF STUFFING

1/2 CUP OF SPINACH

1/4 CUP OF BREAD CRUMBS

1/4 CUP PARMESAN CHEESE

10 SHRIMP CHOPPED UP

TABASCO

3 EGGS

Combine the stuffing, spinach, bread crumbs, shrimp, tabasco and one egg. Mix that shit all up in a bowl. Roll into golf ball sized balls. If you’re a fucking idiot and don’t know how to bread something at this point in your shitty life just call it quits. Roll the balls in some eggs followed by bread crumbs back in the eggs back in the bread crumbs fuck me. I baked some of them at  375 for about 20 minutes. I also fried a few. I suggest you do the same. They cook more evenly and are crispy as fuck.

sutffing edit

THANKSGIVING BURRITO

COURTESY OF THEFOODINMYBREAD.COM

I was going to put together a thanksgiving burrito, but Dan over at THEFOODINMYBEARD.COM made a fucking fantastic looking one a few years back. So fuck it. I figured just feature his since it looks like a party in my fucking pants. He has the whole recipe up if you click the link losers.

thanksburrito09

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE POTATO BALLS

Papas Rellanas for fuckin’ white folks

A few years back I was turned onto potato balls at a little spanish joint in my dumpy fucking town. I was instantly hooked, and inspired. What else could the filling consist of other than the classic beef, spices and onion? For some awkward reason green bean casserole popped into my stupid pea brain. I don’t know. Maybe it was around Thanksgiving. Maybe I was high as fuck. Maybe I was drunk as shit. Maybe I was high and drunk and just all sorts of fucked up. We will never know.

I gave this a shot a few years ago on my TMNTCooks Blog and always tell myself I’m going to fuck with it again because they were legit as a tit. Im not really sure if there is some Peruvian secret to the potato, but I pretty much just mixed an egg and cornstarch with some cold mashed potato’s. Put some green bean casserole on the middle and formed that shit like a fuckin snowball. I actually breaded the balls with the crispy fuck onions that go with the casserole. A fucking checkmate move.

 green bean cass

THANKSGIVING TACO

Mashed Potato Taco Shell? You Expect Something Else?

This shit was actually a recipe I had drafted out for the EAT LIKE SHIT COOKBOOK, but I got carried away with alcohol, not giving a fuck and forgot about it. The biggest bitch about this dick recipe is the only way I could make the shell was with one of those As Seen on TV Taco Shell Maker’s. Wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t making the “shell” out of mashed potato’s but did you expect anything less from my stupid as fuck self?

The thing was delicious. I mean, its Thanksgiving all packed into one shitty as fuck taco or some shit.

The shell is just mashed potato mixed with bread crumbs, cheese and a little egg white. Here’s how I pulled this shit off:

*MAKES ONE TACO*

1/2 CUP COLD MASHED POTATO’S

1 TBL PARMESAN CHEESE

1/2 TBL EGG WHITE PLUS ONE RESERVED BEATEN EGG

1/4 CUP BREAD CRUMBS PLUS SOME MORE TO FUCK WITH.

Combine the fuck out of all that shit and mix well. Roll into a ball and flatten out like a pancake or some shit. Place one side of the potato pancake in the beaten egg and then into some breadcrumbs. Next you’re going to put it on the taco fuck thing. It might fall apart a little but just caress that bitch like its your first set of tits. Bake at 450 for 15-20 minutes. Fill with common Thanksgiving foods you shit head. Not really sure why I went with slivers of cranberry sauce. Think I was stoned as fuck.

image2

 I had like 9 more shitty ideas but I guess we’ll have to wait until next year.

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