One of the most frequent and stupid fucking questions I get is “How did you get so many followers?” I dunno. Maybe because I’m a Canadian fucking man dime? Maybe because I’m rad as fuck. Chicks want to be me and dudes want to be in me.
There is no real secret to getting followers, other than originality and showing some skin. Yeah you could pay someone with a million followers to “shout you out”. I’m pretty sure there are apps out there that will just add ghost followers if you’re that insecure about your shitty life.
Here’s the deal. Whatever you’re social media goals are in life, remember one thing…Its just social fucking media and who really gives a flying fuck.
But if you are looking to better you internet double life, or you have a brand or something shitty you’re looking to expand on, Here are some things I have learned:
1. Learn how to take a fucking picture. We are on the cusp of 2015. If you’re phone takes a blurry picture its time for you to evacuate this planet you fucking dinosaur. Stop using filters and go for natural lighting. If you’re a smoking hot chick, show some skin (sex sells, always has, always will). If you’re a smoking hot dude lift that shirt up and show the world your sweet 6 pack bruh.
2. Shout for Shout. As stupid as it sounds trading a “shoutout” with another social media user can be helpful. Now don’t just go rummaging through your shitty twitter account looking for someone with 999k followers asking for a shoutout. Any time I give a “shoutout” its for a friend of mine, something fucking disgusting, or a something I back. You’re not going to see me shoutout something for the Shredz Army or whatever the fuck ever.
3. Originality. Tough thing to do with the cockload of users in the world, but its possible. Just look at me. Just a drunk idiot on the internet talking shit about shitty food. Original? Not exactly but its honest and there was only a handful of others doing what I was doing when I started.
4. Fuck yourself. Thats right. Delete your google+ and vine account, go outside and smoke some dope in the woods. Build a fort to jerk off in. Thats what I did when I was younger.