I was fortunate enough this Christmas to get drunk as fuck. I was also fortunate enough to get a waffle maker or waffle iron or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Being the pancake lover I am (pancake tits, nipps, buttonholes, etc…) I thought to myself “great..more trash to stick on my fucking overcrowded cooking shelf in my parents basement.”
Right out of the gate I knew poutine waffle was going to happen. Ever since my recent trip to the motherland, poutine has been on my mind like a fly on a shit covered titty. My first concern was did I want to mix the curd and gravy with the fries? Or did I that shit on top like a fucking boss? Im not sure if its grammatically correct to start a sentence with “or” but I didn’t pay much attention in school because I was stoned as fuck.
Before I put the fries in the waffle maker (used a bag of frozen cock fries) I nuked them in the micromachine for a couple minutes to soften them up. I was pretty much looking for soggy french fuck fries. I chopped them up into about half inch pieces. My first attempt I didn’t have enough fries in the maker. Pretty much made a fucking baby waffle. So I ate that shit and went in for round 2. Success. It took somewhere between 10-15 minutes to cook to where I wanted it. I slid a small wooden skewer underneath to free it from the waffle maker, stuck it on a plate (a paper plate because fuck off) and dressed that bitch like I was taking her to prom. Take your waffle fry poutine and shove it straight up your little pink cock hole.
I also rode dirty and made a 100% pulled pork waffle and a corned fuck you beef hash waffle.