No. We didn’t know you were a chef, and we think you’re fucking lying.
You vegans wonder why I’m so hard on you. This is what it looks like when my dog eats his own shit and then shits his own shit back out of his asshole.
This is the ‘I jerk of in the shower because I’d rather not fuck my wife’ meal.
More like a goddess of getting domestically abused in the asshole.
At what point did canned mushrooms, soggy steak, and boxed potatoes become ‘wife material’ ?
Shoutout to the @truecooks hashtag and the box of YooHoo.
The only thing good looking about this meal is fuck you.
I don’t even have to.
Never going to eat anything else ever again eh?
The only time avocado’s are the snack of choice,
is when you spend a great deal of time fucking off.
I had food poisoning once and shit in my shower about 7 times. This reminds me of that time.
A wedge salad is best served wedged through someones cock hole.
When you look like the gummy bears you’re holding.
If this is the meal you come home to after a hard day at work, return to
work, blow your boss, and kill yourself.
You’re lunch is also fucked as fucked.
You know when you spend the whole night drinking cheap draft beer and fuck
some random barfly? Well this is the shit she’s going to take when your sleeping.