The big E has been a tradition in western Massachusetts for years. Every fall, hundreds of thousands of us ‘yanks’ travel to scenic West Springfield to stuff our faces with cream puffs and 8 dollar Coors Lights. There’s the chance that you’ll run into some skank you gave an rusty trumbone to when you were 22, so that’s always nice. The giant yellow slide, mardi gras parade, and miserable elephant you stick your shitty fucking kids on for 5 bucks are amongst some of the other attractions….but for myself it’s all about the food. (Surprise!)
Oh sure, there’s infamous Cream puff for those of us who carry an AARP card and keep a pack of depends in the linen closet. There’s the Maine baked potato. That’s right. Maine baked potato, because when I think Maine,I think carb-heavy vegetables that grow in the ground.
But I’m all about getting off that beaten bath. (I keep reading this as “I’m all about getting beaten off on that path” so let’s all share an lol about that)
I’ve compiled a list of my favorite eats The Big E has to offer, because the opinion of a Fat, balding 30 year old Canadian food blogger matters.
Rosie literally covers anything she can get her hands on with delicious chocolate. I drunkenly stumbled across her booth a few years ago and was instantly hooked. Chocolate covered Doritos, Slim Jim’s, Jalapeños, and my new favorite…chocolate covered Twinkie with a piece of chocolate covered bacon on top.
Another drunken stumble (noticing a trend here?) For 3 measly dollars, these dogs come loaded with mustard, onions, celery salt and seasoned beef. It looks like shit but will knock your dick in the dirt.
Eb’s Restaurant – Shepherds Pie Balls
Normally my number 1 meal of the fair, but it seems this year they forgot how to use salt or fucking pepper to season anything. Shame on you Eb’s, I couldn’t even finish because they were so bland. I certainly wasn’t going to salt & pepper myself like a mouth breather.
Big ol’ Dill Pickle.
Don’t be a terrorist, for $2 pick yourself up a pickle in Storrowton Village, or if you’re a real go hard, buy a bucket of them for $13
Danny’s Little Taste of Texas BBQ – BAKED THE FUCK POTATO.
Shove your Maine potato up your ass. Billy’s Baked Potato? Billy is a fucking bitch. Strap up your man underwear and go see my boy Danny for a real fucking spud.
So there it is. My short and shitty go to list of food from the best fair on earth, The Big fuckin’ E.