Steven Assanti, AKA chill fat bro who would love a slice, has been kicked out of a weight loss program he was in for ordering a pizza.
Apparently ordering a pizza violated the “care plan”. If ever a situation rises where ordering a pizza violates the “care plan”, or the overall plan, it’s time to back the fuck out of that plan. I had a friend once who wanted to order some food. I suggested a pizza and he said he was “kind of all set with that”. Long story short fuck this kid.
Assanti weighs in at roughly 800 pounds. According to said “care plan”, the goal was to get Assanti down to 550 pounds of pure unadulterated American fat so he would be eligible for gastric bypass surgery. After 80 days, Steven managed to shed a whopping 20 pounds. Now I don’t know much about weighing 800 pounds, but losing 20 pounds over the course of three months when you’re that heavy really hits home with the kind of lazy I’d like to be in this fucking world.
Steven is currently living in the back of his fathers SUV while they try to find another facility without fucking pizza nazis. Keep on truckin’ big fella