SAN ANTONIO, TX – According to San Antonio News9, 23 year old Dashawn Johnson is sinking in a river of regret (no that’s not a joke about black people and swimming…unless you want it to be) after agreeing to eat dinner at a white coworkers house.
“I was excited. I’d never had dinner at a white guys house. I watch a lot of Guy Fieri, and didn’t really know what to expect. Maybe a meatloaf, or hot dogs mixed in mac & cheese. Maybe he was planning on doing that thing white people do where they stuff some food inside of another food.”
News9 then asked Dashawn what experience was like.
“I showed up to Peters and he handed me a Zima. I immediately knew something was up” Dashawn told San Antonio News9.
“He told me we would be having turkey burgers and mashed cauliflower. Said he joined a crossfit gym and was trying to turn over a new leaf”
“I know white people are known for some crazy shit, but this is ridiculous. Not even some mayonnaise sandwich appetizers?” He told News9 Anchor Becky Harris.
Dashawn then told News9 that he had to stop at Popeyes on the way home just to wash the taste of turkey burger, pine nut, and gluten free out of his mouth.