Black Man Goes to White Friends House For Dinner – “I’ll never do it again”

SAN ANTONIO, TX – According to San Antonio News9, 23 year old Dashawn Johnson is sinking in a river of regret (no that’s not a joke about black people and swimming…unless you want it to be) after agreeing to eat dinner at a white coworkers house.

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“I was excited. I’d never had dinner at a white guys house. I watch a lot of Guy Fieri, and didn’t really know what to expect. Maybe a meatloaf, or hot dogs mixed in mac & cheese. Maybe he was planning on doing that thing white people do where they stuff some food inside of another food.”

News9 then asked Dashawn what experience was like.

“I showed up to Peters and he handed me a Zima. I immediately knew something was up” Dashawn told San Antonio News9.

“He told me we would be having turkey burgers and mashed cauliflower. Said he joined a crossfit gym and was trying to turn over a new leaf”

“I know white people are known for some crazy shit, but this is ridiculous. Not even some mayonnaise sandwich appetizers?” He told News9 Anchor Becky Harris.

Dashawn then told News9 that he had to stop at Popeyes on the way home just to wash the taste of turkey burger, pine nut, and gluten free out of his mouth.

2 thoughts on “Black Man Goes to White Friends House For Dinner – “I’ll never do it again””

  1. When I take a girl on the first date and I really like her, she’s a really good girl, she’s really hot, she’s gotta good family, and I’m thinking “What the fuck does she see in me!?”, then I take her to Hartz Chicken Buffet.
    “Why?” you ask? Many reasons, man!

    First, it’s fucking fried chicken and yeast rolls! Fuck you if’n you don’t like that shit! Fuck you right in the ass, faggot!

    Second, it’s cheap! Twenty bucks and you’re getting change back! What if the date is shit? You’ll be pissed that you paid how much for that $5 bottle of Lambrusco at the fucking Olive Garden!

    Third, I like to cook and I make sure my girl is fucking fed! Now, it’s the first date. So, I gotta see how she eats. Is she sitting next to me or across the table? = Is she about to get down on some motherfucking yardbird or should I have gotten her the salad bar discount? Does she lick her fingers or wipe them? = Am I going to have to ask for head or will she just suck my dick outta nowhere? Is she gonna eat gizzards and livers? = Am I gonna make this girl a ring? Because, I eat some shit people don’t fuck with, like hearts. I motherfucking love hearts!!! I got gout twice this year from eating too many hearts… and crawfish. (Mud Bugs Kingwood helped a lot!)

    Fourth, let’s see how she reacts to me saying “I’ma take you out to the chicken shack tonight! It’s all-you-can-eat, baby!”. I’ll know if she’s a cunt or a game bird at that point.

    Fifth, I took my ex-wife to Hartz Chicken Buffet in Porter, TX on our first date. I figure, “Do what you know works!”, because it’s proven. Right?

    Sixth, you can smoke inside and that’s fucking freedom!!!

    So ladies, if I take you to Hartz Chicken then you best act right or tell me what you want me to cook you instead. If another guy takes you on a cheap date, then take the free meal, bring me leftovers (His, too!), and fuck me instead.

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