IRVINE, CA – A spokesperson for the burger giant announced on Tuesday that the food chain will be dropping the infamous “animal style” option from 175 west coast locations.
The decision comes from a study done in 2014, where it was discovered a shitty ketchup-mayo combination with some fried onions doesn’t make a shitty fucking burger or fries any better.
“You can polish a turd, but it’s still a turd” spokesperson, Skip Rogers says.
“There is no reason we should be spending extra money shittifying a burger that’s already shitty enough. Plus, has anyone ever really tasted mayo? Bleh. Not for me” says Rogers.
As imagined, long time In-n-Out lovers and animal style assholes were outraged buy the decision, taking to the streets outside of the headquarters to protest. TVC News 6 was on scene to talk to protestors:
“I can’t believe this shit. Fuck am I supposed to do now? Go to some mom and pop burger joint and get a better burger for the same fucking price? This is an outrage” – Cotton Weary
“This bums me hella hard bro. We chill at the In-n-Out in my town all the time. We don’t like really eat there, but it sucks cuz now less people will see our hella chill skate moves and vape clouds in the parking lot” local wook, Jordan “skittles” LaPoint
“Ya’ll white people crazy.” – LeBron Jackson
“This actually doesn’t bother me. I just joined a new crossfit gym and have been on the paleo diet for months. I’m actually just here to tell people that I don’t know that I do crossfit and I’m on the paleo diet” – Debbie Blanchard, local cunt.