Hey England – I See Your Fry Up And I Raise You The American Fry Up

American Fry Up vs English Fry Up

Let me just start by saying I have no issues with a full English or traditional Irish fry up. I’m not even here to say that the fry up that I made here today is better than a classic English fucking throw down. I’m just here to slide my stumpy little American prick into that deep bean and blood sausage cut and release my sour nut.

For those of you unaware of what a traditional fry up looks like, I ask you to direct your attention to a few of these links

Fry Up Police

@doctorfryguy

Ben Smith

Fry up inspector

Beans, blood sausage, fried bread, mushrooms, tomatoes, eggs – what’s not to fucking love about this?

For my Americunt version of a fry up I was basically looking to replace traditional fry up ingredient with familiar American breakfast items. Instead of beans I used corned beef hash. Instead of black & white pudding I used kielbasa and small breakfast sausages.

My one goal with my fry up was to cook everything in the same pan – obviously not at the same time – so I could capture the flavor of everything in one big greasy vessel.

I cooked the bacon first. The grease from the bacon would act as a lube for the rest of of the cooking. You’re going to want to start with the meats and work your way towards the starches before finally finishing with the eggs. The breads and potato products will help absorb all of that delicious fucking cancer left by the meats.  A quick wipe of the pan before the scrambled eggs and you’ve got yourself my version of an American fry up.

Breakfast Tacos w/Roasted Garlic & Chipotle Ketchup and Whoops I Just Creamed My Pants

Breakfast Tacos To Kick Your Day In The Cockhole

The nice thing about breakfast tacos other then the fact that it’s tacos for breakfast is that you’re having tacos but you’re having them when it’s breakfast time.

The other nice thing about this recipe is 90% of it can be prepared in advance. The remaining 10% being the eggs because if you microwave or even just save eggs to be heated up at a later time you can literally just fuck yourself. Like, figure out a way to pack your own penis in your own ass and just rough up your own insides.

Breakfast tacos are the epitome of all handheld breakfast items. Yeah breakfast sandwiches are cool, but have you even seen a breakfast sandwich be a taco? No. You fucking haven’t.

As far as the roasted garlic & chipotle ketchup goes….that’s pretty much what it is. Some roasted garlic and a few canned chipotle peppers. Blended and mixed with ketchup. On a side note I’m working on a ketchup related post with ways to up your ketchup game. So there’s that to look forward to.

Bacon Weave Breakfast Pizza

This week we’re taking the bacon weave to new heights. Not only are we going to make a pizza ‘crust’ out of bacon, we’re going to make two bacon pizza crusts, put a nice cheesy loaded scrambled egg blend (BECAUSE ITS 2018 AND MAC AND CHEESE IS OUT) between them and top that shit with some more breakfast suspects.

The first step is to make yourself a few bacon weaves. Its  going to take about 2 1/2 lbs of bacon in total to knock this fucker out. 

Now you can go one of two ways here. You can make 2 decent sized crusts for 1 decent sized breakfast pizza, or you can make four smaller crusts for four smaller pizzas. That decision is up to you.

Once you have your bacon weave crusts cooked all you have left to do is build. You could stuff the crusts with cheesy home fries, a blend of breakfast meats, maybe stick a big waffle in there. You have to be a thinker here. Don’t be a fucking generic Eric. Make something official.

Chill AF Breakfast Sandwich

This week we’re taking the bacon weave to new heights. Not only are we going to make a pizza ‘crust’ out of bacon, we’re going to make two bacon pizza crusts, put a nice cheesy loaded scrambled egg blend (BECAUSE ITS 2018 AND MAC AND CHEESE IS OUT) between them and top that shit with some more breakfast suspects.

The first step is to make yourself a few bacon weaves. Its  going to take about 2lbs of bacon in total to knock this fucker out. Make sure you get yourself some decent bacon. You can  get thick cut but you’ll end up with a smaller end product.

Now you can go one of two ways here – You can make 2 decent sized crusts for 1 decent sized breakfast pizza, or you can make four smaller crusts for two smaller pizzas. That decision is up to you.

Once you have your bacon weave crusts cooked all you have left to do is build. You could stuff the crusts with cheesy home fries, a blend of breakfast meats, maybe stick a big waffle in there. You have to be a thinker here. Don’t be a fucking generic Eric. Make something official.

Jimmy Dean Stuffed Hash Browns [HOW TO]

Something a little different this week. Picked up these shitty Jimmy Dean Hash Browns and decided instead of making something with them I would show you guys how to make your own.

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Ultimate Breakfast Slider Bake

For this weeks mid-week J.O. “sesh”, I’m going to do my version of Chef Alvin Cailan’s, owner off Eggslut in L.A., Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich he made on an episode of Munchies.

His version is a couple of marbled eggs between a 4 banger of sweet Hawaiian rolls served with either fried pork or Spam, topped with scallion and Sriracha mayo. The difference with mine is that I’ll be adding bacon & cheese, and using crispy fried onions instead of scallions. I’ll also be using a chipotle mayo because fuck Sriracha. I’ll be making a large tray of them and serving them up as some legit as fuck sliders.

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