Chill AF Breakfast Sandwich

This week we’re taking the bacon weave to new heights. Not only are we going to make a pizza ‘crust’ out of bacon, we’re going to make two bacon pizza crusts, put a nice cheesy loaded scrambled egg blend (BECAUSE ITS 2018 AND MAC AND CHEESE IS OUT) between them and top that shit with some more breakfast suspects.

The first step is to make yourself a few bacon weaves. Its  going to take about 2lbs of bacon in total to knock this fucker out. Make sure you get yourself some decent bacon. You can  get thick cut but you’ll end up with a smaller end product.

Now you can go one of two ways here – You can make 2 decent sized crusts for 1 decent sized breakfast pizza, or you can make four smaller crusts for two smaller pizzas. That decision is up to you.

Once you have your bacon weave crusts cooked all you have left to do is build. You could stuff the crusts with cheesy home fries, a blend of breakfast meats, maybe stick a big waffle in there. You have to be a thinker here. Don’t be a fucking generic Eric. Make something official.

Jimmy Dean Stuffed Hash Browns [HOW TO]

Something a little different this week. Picked up these shitty Jimmy Dean Hash Browns and decided instead of making something with them I would show you guys how to make your own.


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Ultimate Breakfast Slider Bake

For this weeks mid-week J.O. “sesh”, I’m going to do my version of Chef Alvin Cailan’s, owner off Eggslut in L.A., Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich he made on an episode of Munchies.

His version is a couple of marbled eggs between a 4 banger of sweet Hawaiian rolls served with either fried pork or Spam, topped with scallion and Sriracha mayo. The difference with mine is that I’ll be adding bacon & cheese, and using crispy fried onions instead of scallions. I’ll also be using a chipotle mayo because fuck Sriracha. I’ll be making a large tray of them and serving them up as some legit as fuck sliders.


Breakfast Shooters

4x4 photo


The Breakfast Shooter. Not to be confused with a booze filled shooter. Unless you’re a sick enough fuck to pour some booze in, then I guess yeah, it’s a booze-breakfast shooter. I’m high.

I’m a simple breakfast dude. Bacon, ham, or sausage…eggs, potato and cheese. I don’t need to be “woo’d” with a fuckin’ buffalo chicken omelette or some shit…and you can shove a lobster eggs Benedict right up your benehole. (I’m referring to your asshole for those of you just joining us)

The nice thing about this recipe is you can make a shit ton of the potato “shot glasses” and store them in your shitty freezer. They fry up in the deep fryer about 5 minutes flat. The part I kind of fucked up was the size of the hole I made to hold the rest of the breakfast ingredients. For this probably would have had to use a bigger plastic mold. Whatever the fuck ever.

The potato mixture is simple. A few handful of shredded potato, handful of Parmesan cheese, pinch of shredded cheese, two eggs & whatever the fuck seasonings. Mix that shit all up and scoop into plastic cups that have been sprayed with cooking spray. Not sure if this helps with getting them out…just fucking do it.

Pack the potato mixture down with a spoon. With some sort of cannoli tube with tinfoil on the end-device, press a hole in the middle of that bitch. Work that shit all around until you have a nice vessel for the breakfast items. Stick in the freezer for 2 hours.

To free the potato from the plastic run some warm water in the outside of the cup and use a butter knife to fuck that shit up. Drop these bitches in the deep fryer for about 5 minutes (or until golden brown) at 375. Remove and fill with breakfast accessories.

Sausage & Bacon Breakfast Cake




You’re breakfast sucks. This one doesn’t. Any time you have to option of baking something with sausage & bacon, you bake something with sausage and bacon.

All I did was follow the fantastic instructions on the blueberry whatever the fuck mix box. You’ll end up cooking it longer (about 40 minutes) because she’s a real thick bitch of a breakfast bake. Top with a runny egg and fuck off about your day.



-2 boxes Jiffy Blueberry Muffin Mix

-2 boxes Banquet Brown ‘N Serve Sausages

-2 eggs

-1/2 cup Milk

-1 LB cooked bacon