Grilled Spaghetti Squash

Spaghetti squash is the undisputed champion of the squash world. I mean…does acorn squash even really stand a chance?

This one right here is a great end of summer dish. One of my fucking favorites. I know I talk a lot of shit but I love me some grilled vegetables. Asparagus. Onion. Peppers. All great summer grilling items.

Picked up everything for this meal at a local farmers market so you know it’s legit.

Cut your spaghetti squash in half, scoop the seeds out and season the h*ck out of it with salt and pepper. Grill over direct heat with the seasoned side down on medium flame for about 15 minutes…or until it has a decent char. Flip the spaghetti squash so it’s skin side down and cook over INDIRECT heat for about an hour. Keep the lid of your grill closed as much as possible.

For this healthy as shit recipe I also made a 45 minute tomato sauce. Run a few large tomatoes through a cheese grater. You’ll get all those heady juices. Throw the skin in the dumpster.

Suate a few chopped cloves of garlic in some vegetable oil until it starts to brown. Toss in your puréed tomato and hit with some spices. I went with salt, pepper some fresh parsley. Cook over medium heat for 45 minutes stirring frequently.

when the spaghetti swaths is done scrape out the inside with a fork.  

I also picked up these buffalo cheese curds from the market. Total game changer. Fill the emptied spaghetti squash with the shredded spaghetti squash. Top with tomato sauce and cheese. Throw back on the grill until the cheese melts.

Grilled Pineapple & Jalapeno Chicken

So a few weeks ago I posted a photo of some wings I made on my Instagram and a bunch of people asked for the recipe. I was high. I’m not exactly sure how I made them but this is pretty damn close – if not better than the other ones.

The first thing you want to do is marinate your chicken. I went with drumsticks instead of wings because they were on sale. I soak mine in pickle juice. Soak them for at least 4 hours. You can use Italian dressing or some other whacky shit if you’re skeptical of the pickle juice.

While the chicken marinates grill your pineapple up. I used canned slices. Typically I would have used fresh pineapple but I’m lazy.

Time to build a sauce. Basically going to make a ketchup based white trash bbq sauce:

• 1/2 Cup Ketchup

•4 Chopped Grilled Pineapple Slices

• 1/8 Cup Chopped Pickled Jalapeños 

• 1/2 Tablespoon Maple Sizzurp

• Pinch of Crushed Red Pepper

• Pinch of Black Pepper

• 1/8 Cup Yellow Mustard

• 1/4 cup Pickled Jalapeño Juice (if you want a little more kick)

Mix well and refrigerate.

When your chicken has competed is marinating extravaganza, rinse and pat dry with paper towels. Season with a BBQ seasoning. I have a mason jar in my kitchen that I dump all my spices in when they get down to the end of the bottle…so I’m not really sure what’s in my seasoning.

Let the chicken rest for 5-10 minutes after grilling before tossing a few pieces around at a time in your chicken slather sauce.

Plate up and garnish with more grilled pineapple and chopped pickled jalapeños.

fuck yeah.

Jalapeño Popper Dogs

There are a variety of styles out there when it comes to jalapeño popper hot dogs. There are hot dogs topped with all of your usual jalapeño popper suspects. There are hot dogs topped with straight up jalapeño poppers. There’s the albino jalapeño popper dog my uncle used to serve up in his basement puzzle dungeon, and If you’re my good pal, Dan, From thefoodinmybeard.com your jalapeño popper hot dog comes with the hot dog inside of the jalapeño.

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This recipe was actually set up to be the weeks SundayFunday video until I realized – other than looks – there was really nothing extreme enough to me to turn out a video for the recipe, so I figured a shot fucking blog post should do it.

I thought it would be cool to dress the buns up like a white trash cheese bread, pin some jalapeños to the dogs with toothpicks and spiral wrap some bacon around them. That’s it. All the fundamentals of a jalapeño popper served up on a Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog. (I obviously had to go with Nathan’s being that it was the 4th of July and that’s when Nathan’s hot dog eating competition goes down)

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The first step is to pin the jalapeños and bacon to the dogs. I sliced the bacon in half the long way to double my bacon stock. What I really should have done is spiraled the bacon up one way and back down in the opposite direction making some sort of fuckin bacon braid.

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Throw together your bun-spread. Cream cheese, shredded cheddar and some cooked bacon because why the fuck not.

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Now its time to get everything on the grill. Cook both the dogs and buns over indirect heat. I cooked the dogs first and when they looked to be about done I tossed on the buns. I hit the buns with a quick blow torch because America.

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Hope you guys enjoyed this recipe but in the event that you didn’t you can kindly fuck off.

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Buffalo Chicken Mac ‘n Cheese Stuffed Potato Bombs

These buffalo chicken mac stuffed grillin’ taters are so easy that even if your everyday outfit includes a helmet and velcro shoes you should be able to knock this one out.

The whole operation can pretty much go down right at your fucking grill, which is nice because…well…that’s the point of grilling.

You may have seen similar recipes from the cunts at Buzzfeed or their Tasty platform or maybe even some random BBQ channel (these would be great on the smoker) on the ol’ YouTube….so we’re not exactly breaking new ground here. I even did something similar myself for the folks at Twisted a few months back when they sent me their cookbook.

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The first step in this cluster fuck of an operation is to grill some buffalo-style chicken. Marinate the chicken in a generic hot sauce. I use Trappys. Toss the chicken on the grill and brush with with a 50/50 combo marinade made out of melted butter and more generic hot sauce.

Build yourself a trashbag mac the fuck cheese. Whenever I’m doing a recipe like this I like to grab one of those microwaveable macaroni and cheese dishes. NOT A FUCKING FROZEN ONE. Country Crock makes one as well as a few other brands. These are nice for a mac the fuck cheese on the fly because they’re easy to doctor up. All I added to this was an entire block of sharp cheddar(shredded) and the chopped up buffalo chicken tenders – which I could have chopped up a bit more so it was more present throughout the mac the fuck cheese.

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Getting your potatoes ready is pretty self explanatory based on the fucking photo – but if you’re a window licker here you go:

-cook potatoes

-cut cooked potatoes

-hollow potatoes

-cut bottom of the potatoes slightly so it can stand on its own

-wrap with bacon

-season with salt and pep.

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You can do whatever the fuck you want with the potato guts. I like to hold on to them just in case you hollow out the potato too much and end up with a hole on the bottom. The potato guts make a great starchy bandaid for this.


Cooking them is easier than a Kardashian in an NBA locker room. Fill the potatoes with the mac the fuck cheese. Pack the mac in nice and tight. The pièce de résistance is the ice cream scooper-scoop on top. That’s what’s selling this whole fucking thing.

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Set your grill to LOW. These are a low-and-slow operation. You don’t want the potato to burn before the bacon is cooked. You might have to play around on your grill, moving the potatoes in and out of direct heat until you find a good heat zone. Once you locate a good cook spot on the grill close the grill and fuck off, and I mean like…fuck off. Don’t open the grill for a while (15 minutes). You need the heat that’s in the grill to cook the bacon. If you tried to cook these with the grill open you would end up with raw bacon on top and burnt bacon towards the bottom.

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When they’re done remove them and garnish with sour cream, green onion, bacon, jalapeños, spices – whatever your little hearts desire. The sour cream and green onion combo was a hit for me.

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Bacon Wrapped Scallop Burger

What we’re doing here today is a little something I like to call cooking a burger like a fucking champion.

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I stumbled across a photo recently of a bacon wrapped burger (done up the same way you’ll see here) only it was filled with cheese. I was going to do one filled with French onion soup until a craving for scallops stage dived into my egg shaped fuck of a head.

The execution is simple. Burger bowl. Wrap with bacon. Season. Grill & fill.

Get yourself some fresh ground beef. I used 90/10 so it’s a little more lean than the 80/20 I would normally use. Form a decent patty and press the middle out to make a “bowl”. I used the bottom of a mug to help with this. You want to get in there with your phalanges and form it well. Wrap a slice of bacon around it and stick a toothpick in’er. Season the fuck out of it with some Old Bay before dropping on your grill. 

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You’re kind of fucked here if you’re looking for a medium/rare burger since you want the bacon to cook. You could always pre-cook the bacon a bit, that’s not how I fucking roll.


Once the bacon was cooked I flipped the burger over for just a couple of minute to add a char to the top side.

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In a small cast iron pan I cooked the scallops with a little seasoning. I was originally was going to stick bacon wrapped scallops on/in the burger but I had a feeling I wouldn’t have that kind of meat-based real estate…and boy was I fucking right.

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I spooned some sort of Cajun sauce in the burger. I’m not totally sure what the fuck it was since it was just some leftover sauce that came with some crab cakes I purchased. Stick as many scallops as you can comfortably fit in your burger bowl.

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My last little trick was the bun. I spread a thin layer of mayo on the buns and seasoned them with more Old Bay before crisping them up on the grill.

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There’s not much I would change with this sick as a bitch burger. You could raw dog it without the lettuce and tomato if you went heavier on the Cajun sauce. You need something. I avoided cheese because for some reason the thought of cheesy scallops made my dick shrivel like I was on an adderall bender. You could also season the scallops differently, maybe with a decent blackening spice.

The nicest thing about this whole operation is having the scallops sitting inside of the burger. When you take a bite they don’t go spilling over the sides like my fucking fat muffin top does over my jeans.

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Grilled English Muffin Pizza Fries.

If you didn’t grow up eating english muffin pizza’s you were deprived of a positive upbringing.

Either that or your parents had money to order real pizza.

I’ve even had people tell me they grew up eating ketchup on bread-pizzas. You know what kind of parents make you eat ketchup pizzas? The kind of parents that kill fucking kittens while you’re sleeping.

Nice weather is finally here in the Northeast which means cats will be firing up their grills on the reg. These english muffin pizza fries are a great way to kick of your crummy summer cookout. Super easy to make and all of your friends shitty kids should enjoy them as well.

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