Giant Pizza Ravioli

That nice thing about a pizza ravioli is that instead of using pizza dough you use a giant ravioli.

You can fill it with whatever you want but you should probably listen to me when I tell you to fill it with cheese, bacon & jalapeños because I’m fucking smarter than you when it comes to this level of scumbaggery.

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My apologies for the run on sentence. This is the part of the blog post where I tell you I’m sorry for the lack of blog posts and blah blah blah – go fuck myself.

The reason I haven’t really posted – other than the fact that I’m just a lazy cunt – is that when I share a blog post link to Facebook these days it only ends up reaching about 1000 people out of the 250k+ fans of the Facebook page, which is strange because if I share a super spicy meme it’s reaches roughly 30k+. Kind of disappointing since only a few years ago I could reach that with a crummy blog post.

I’m told that this has a lot to do with Facebook’s algorithm and the content checks it does…so what we’re doing here today is a bit of a test. I’m going to put a little more content in this post and we’ll see where that gets us!

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Back to the giant fuck of a ravioli.

Making a giant jalapeño popper-esque pizza ravioli isn’t a difficult task, but it is a task.

Since giant raviolis don’t exist in grocery stores you’ll have to make your own – starting with the dough.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you step-by-step how to make pasta dough – that’s what YouTube is for – but the process is pretty straight forward:


Pile of flour – a few eggs – a little EVOO. I would suggest giving this a few trial runs. I’ve made pasta dough a few times now and I’m borderline Gilbert Grape so if I can do it you cunts shouldn’t have an issue. After your dough has been made, rested & ready to roll out you can start making this giant fuck.

-fill dough
-make ravioli
-smoke break
-boil ravioli
-smoke break
-put pizza shit on top of ravioli and bake the fucking thing.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

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You can honestly fill your ravioli with whatever the fuck you want. I went with a jalapeño popper story line because that’s the kind of mood I’ve been in.

Now if you haven’t punished yourself enough with reading this blog post here is a video of me gargling words and showing you how it all went down.

Fast Food Pizza

Today we’re celebrating National Drive Through Day, because in America everything deserves a day of cele’fuckin’bration.

I’ve been wanting to do a fast food pizza for a while, but  shied away from it because I didn’t want to seem like I was stepping on Epic Mealtime’s toes. 

But I figured fuck it. 

I hit all the local fast food spots in my town, which there are only fucking 4 of. Is that not fucking depressing? McDonald’s, BK, Taco Bell, and KFC. I literally had to drive 20 minutes just to get the Wendy’s chili. That’s it. No Sonic. No Chik-fil-A. Not even a fucking Arby’s.

I always had this idea that if I struck it rich I would build a spot called Fast Food Alley, a mile long strip with all the fucking top dog fast food chains. McDonald’s, Arby’s, BK, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, White Castle, Subway, Checkers, Bo Jangles, Church’s Chicken, In-n-Out, Whataburger, Roy Rogers, Sonic, Dominos, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen, Hardee’s, Steak n’ Shake, Waffle House, Fatburger, Chipotle, Shake Shack, hell, I’d even build a Little Caesars and just make t one giant fucking toilet.

Anyways, for today’s recipe I built a simple day food pizza. BK Fries for the dough, Wendy’s chili for the sauce, KFC Mac the fuck cheese for…well…the cheese, and various chicken nugget-fiesta potato-onion ring toppings. 

“Cardiac Arrest Pizza”

Hope you guys enjoy!

Chicago Dog Deep Dish/Stuffed Pizza

This weeks recipe is inspired by a city that blows….or a Windy City, whichever you prefer to call it.

Chicago is a tough town. I know you folks that live there have been through some tough times but it’s one of my favorite cities in the country. I’ve been to Chicago a handful of times and for some reason it’s always been the dead of fucking winter. I live in Massachusetts so you could say I know a thing or two about a fucked up cold winter…but fuck me it’s cold as fuck in Chi-town during the winter months.

However, I never let the cold stop me from making my way over to The Wieners Circle for a Chi-dog, some cheese fries, and watching a giant set of tits flop around (aka ‘The Chocolate Milkshake’). I also always tried to make it over to Giordano’s for a stuffed the fuck pizza.

Now I’m sure some of you will probably tell me that those places fucking suck, and there are better spots for a Chicago style hot dog or stuffed pizza elsewhere, and blah blah blah they’re just tourist traps…..well…I’m a fucking tourist so that’s what I want.

Anyways, this weeks recipe is a cheese fry stuffed deep dish pizza with Chicago style dog toppings. I’m well aware I forgot the onion and there are no poppy seeds, but I can’t wait to hear it from all of you cunts in the comment section.