Trashbag Crunchwrap – It ain’t easy being scummy

One of the wonderful benefits about being a complete scumbag is you get to use your body as a filtering system for all types of scummy food.

A trashbag crunchwrap is the peak of scummy food. Shitty meat. Shitty macaroni. Other various shot as fuck ingredients. There’s nothing to not like about not liking not a Trashbag Crunchwrap.

I’ve been in a love hate relationship with top round steak lately. I love the price but I hate the fucking cut. Big slab of cunt meat with no fat. One way to bring this cut to flavor town is to grind it up and mix it with other shit. My white trash burger patty is actually just ground top round and bacon. The cut itself has a great “steak flavor” in my opinion, it just needs a little fat to help it on its way.


For this scummy recipe I mixed the beef with spices & ground pepperoni. The roni gives it a nice greasy and spicy profile. I’m not sure if greasy and spicy is a profile but who the fuck cares.

Lets get wrappin’

Grind up the beef and mix with various spices and some sort of fat. Black pepper, salt, & chili powder were my go to spices.


To bring this shit next level I dumped a bunch of Goya Sofrito in while it was cooking. This shit is great. If it came in boofable tablets I’d be shoving a minimum of 3 in me per day.

If you’re lazy as fuck – like myself – you’ll want to stay away from making a homemade mac ‘n cheese. My signature move is purchasing a pre-made mac and just doctoring it up. Some cheese, jalapeƱos, bacon etc.

The final step in this elaborate fucking process is to put it all together. 

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