Pizza Burger Mozzarella Stick

I’m not sure that its actually stuffed with pizza, but the whole thing is pretty much a pepperoni pizza minus the fucking dough.

 

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American Burger

 

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Nothing is more American than food stuffed in other food. Stuffing a burger with hot dogs is like watching George Washington finger bang Abraham Lincoln on top of a fucking keg of Budweiser.

Its Memorial Day Weekend. A celebration of America. A day to remember those who have lost their lives in the line of duty protecting this great country of ours. This is not a fucking BBQ celebration weekend. As you toss your shitty bag during a game of corn hole, or play flip cup with some underage chick you’re going to poke,  remember those who have fought and lost their lives to protect the greatest country in the fucking world.

AMERICA.

Yes. Its a burger stuffed with hot dogs. The burger & dogs were both cooked in bacon grease. The cheese was melted with bacon grease. the bacon was cooked in bacon grease. You’re mom is a whore.

ps. those of you out there stepping on flags…kill yourself.

 

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French Fry Burger Bomb

I didn’t really know what else to call this. I was originally going to call it the burger that fucked your mom, but I can’t think of a mom that could actually take this thing in the sack. So Burger Bomb it is.

I used the same method with the fries as I did with my burger balls. Formed them around a burger that I had seared on both sides with a few slices of cheese in the mix. Yes I am aware the burger is over cooked but suck my fucking balls about it. I had to cook the fucking thing a little longer than I had thought so the burger cooked too. Fuck off.

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Burger & Fry Balls

 

Anyways, in spirit of yesterdays Mashed Potato & Gravy Balls, here is a Cheesburger Fry Ball. I know, I know…no bacon. Suck me dry. I wasn’t 100% on this actually being as easy as it was, so I kept it simple.

I tooled around with the thought that I might have to make these first and freeze them, or maybe egg wash them and bread them. I was fucking mistaken.

I took some leftover fries from mine and my wife poutine dinner last night and nuked them in the microwave for a minute. I chopped and mixed the fries with a handful of shredded cheddar cheese.

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I formed the fries around some store bought, but not frozen, meatballs. Yeah, they’re turkey meatballs because they were on fucking sale suck my dirt tunnel about it. I figured it would be 10x easier to use meatballs instead of fucking around with temperatures to get raw meat in the middle to cook.

 

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Notice the lack of oil in the pan. I’m not sure if this was better than actually deep frying it, but all I had to do was roll the balls around (in my mouth like a normally do) in the oil for a few minutes.

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Plate that shit and serve with ketchup. Pay close attention to the wood paneling in my fucking dining room.

 

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LEARN YOUR FUCKING SELF

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