Marijuana Deep Fried Oreos

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Smoking weed is chill. Eating weed is even chiller. I remember the first time THC hit my lungs. Think it was the sixth grade. It was some seed and stem riddled shank out of some sort of fuckin wooden pepper shaker. I remember walking out of the woods arguing with myself that “this shit don’t work”. Next thing I know I’m laughing my ass off for no reason. I was high and it was chill.

From there I graduated to bongs, gravities, steam rollers, hash, old school vaporizers, and edibles. I’m old school. Give me a joint or a brownie and I’m chillin’. Fuckin’ kids these days with their wax and dabs. Shit will have me dirt nappin’ hard.

Edibles are cool. You never really know how fucked you’re going to be, until you’re fucked, and thats how you are. Rice Krispies Treats, Cookies, Cakes, and Brownies. You name it. Its got THC in it I’m fucking stuffing face.

I made some butter (believe it or not for the first time) a few weeks back. Someone gave me some trim and told me to go to town. I did a slow cooker 24 hour recipe. About an ounce of trim and a pound of butter in the ol’ crocker on low for a day. I don’t know if this makes for a more potent butter, or I’m just a pussy, but this shit fucked me up. I made some peanut butter cup stuffed chocolate cupcakes, or as I now call them…body nummers.

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Second time around I wanted to try something a little different.

Deep fried fucking Oreos. Does it get any more chill? 

Yeah it fucking does, as soon as you add some THC.

These are super simple to make. Grab a box of your favorite cake or brownie mix. I went with funfetti because I’m fuckin silly.

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Follow the instructions on the box of whatever you choose to batter your Oreos with, only replacing and oil or butter requirements with your weed butter.

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Let the butter cool a bit before adding it to the mixture. You don’t want that shit to start cooking the batter. It will make it a real pain in the cock to work with.

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After you batter the Oreos (I went with the MEGA STUFF Oreos btw) drop them in a deep fryer or some oil at 375. Cook for a few minutes on each side. After frying I got a little silly. I frosted the Oreos and then topped them with chopped up s’mores Pop Tarts, and when I say Pop Tarts I mean generic Toaster Pastries from Dollar General.

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Rice Krispies Ice Cream Taco

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Thanksgiving, spaghetti, cookie dough, ramen, French fry, and now Rice Krispies treat.

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It’s absurd that whoever made that taco stand or whatever the fuck it is hasn’t sent me at least a quarter-milli. Pretty sure I’m the only asshole using the fucking thing.

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This idea has been in my playbook for a minute now, but due to alcohol fueled shenanigans, procrastination, general laziness, and getting shat on by our baby, took me two months to muster up the energy to spend 15 minutes in my kitchen making this fucking beaut.

I went with a double boil method making the treats for the first time. I thought it would be less of a mess
to clean but I’m a fuckin juggernaut in the kitchen, so either way there’s gonna be a mess.

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The part I really fucked up is where you add the butter. I added regular ol’ butter instead of utilizing the THC riddled butter sitting in the fuckin’ vegetable drawer of our fridge.


I followed a standard Rice Krispies Treats Recipe (3 TBL butter, one 10oz package mini marshmallows, and 5-6 cups of Rice Krispies).

When I had the mixtures all…mixed…I layered it onto a cookie sheet that I covered with wax paper. Let it cool for about 10 minutes before cutting a circle out of the whole shit.

 

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I then transferred the cutout to the taco whatever shit. I stuck a few cannoli making tubes in the middle so it didn’t fall in on itself while it cooled.

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I only ended up making one shell because of the whole procrastination-laziness-alcohol issues I mentioned earlier. Fill with your favorite ice cream and fuck off about your day.

S’moresapeño

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You go hard in the paint?

I paint hard in your chick.

She wants this Canadian man dime,

Not some pre-cummy dick.

Get it? Like my dick is the paintbrush, and my man sauce is the paint, and I bust in your girl. 

I don’t know. I’ve been rapping in my head a lot and that line just stuck with me. I wouldn’t fuck your chick because I prefer to only enter my wife.

Here’s one for all the dickheads out there. This ain’t some amateur hour shit. Your pallet has to be on fucking point to enjoy this shit. You have to be a fan of jalapeños, cocks, fluff, dicks, graham crackers, penis parties, chocolate, and chocolate covered cocks.

If you’ve never had fluff, I encourage you to go out, purchase a tub of it, shot up to your parents and make your father watch you fuck your mother for raising you without fluff in your life.

The jalapeños maintain a good crunch which kind of fucking bothered me at first, but I pulled my dick out of the sand and manned the fuck up. Although, next time I would roast the jalapeños over an open flame and remove the skin to give the jalapeños the flaccid dick treatment. I would flaccidize them. The flaccification would be great. Are these flaccid jokes hitting anyone’s soft spot? 

Check out the video and hit the fucking subscribe button.

#DEEPFryday – Graham Cracker Chocolate Chip Pancakes

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Shoutout to my new post I’ll be doing every Friday, called #DEEPFryday. Every Friday I’ll be posting a new blog post and video featuring some food cooked in my crusty fucking deep fryer. 

Up to kick this bitch off is a stack of chocolate chip pancakes ,crusted with some crushed the fuck up graham crackers. Yeah, deep fried pancakes are out there on the web, but why hasn’t anyone just deep fried a whole fucking stack? I’ll tell you why. Because I’m the one with the cock to do so.

I got myself turnt on those freezer section pancakes in a box and I can’t get un-turnt from em’. 

These fuck cakes come 3 to a pack, so I used two packs, because that’s pretty much what will fit in your mom, and my fryer. I thought about making my own pancakes but I don’t have the fucking patience to use a spatula.

Watch the video below and subscribe to  get yourself learnt as fuck.

 

 

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Bacon & Chocolate Rice Krispies Treats

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Here’s an easy one. All you need is bacon, chocolate, and Rice Krispies Treats. I went with just the store bought treats because I don’t really have time to sit around and watch marshmallows fucking melt. I guess if you’re a real go hard you can make your own.

It might have been more beneficial to make my own, or at least use bigger treats. I tried a couple of the treats with one slice of bacon but they really wanted to fucking melt, so two slices was the way to go. After I cooked the bacon I stuck them in the fridge for a while so the marshmallow wouldn’t be so cummy. Melt some chocolate, dip them in, and let them cool off in the fridge.

 

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Peanut Butter Stuffed Cocoa Pebble Balls

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Because if I have to see one more hash brown inspired food video I’m literally going to fucking cut my cock off.

The recipe is simple, even if you’re a fucking dickhead. Just follow your classic Rice Krispies Treats recipe, freeze some peanut butter in ice cube trays (shoutout DudeFoods) and stuff it in the middle of some warm ass Cocoa Pebbles. I was going to do the same with Fruity Pebbles and fill the center with Dippin’ Dots, but they melted in my fucking mouth before I could complete this.

 

Fucking Tip* – Spray your hands with some cooking spray to prevent sticking.

 

 

 

 

Choco Taco Ice Cream Sandwich

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The Choco Taco is an American staple. Almost as American as the American flag itself, and I say that as an American, living in America, having grown up seeing a lot of American flags in America.

What’s more American than an American living in America seeing American shit every day? A Choco Taco Ice cream sandwich. Everything about this bitch screams America. The ingenuity, the level of focus and concentration it takes to construct such a masterpiece.

Just kidding. I’m stoned and I have things in my freezer.

 

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