Shakshouka Fries

Shakshouka Fries.

If you can’t get down with french fries topped with all sorts of various shit I can get down with you. Whether its chili & cheese or lamb and tunafish you have to respect the fuck out of a loaded fry – and don’t even get me started on loaded tots.

Shakshouka is a Middle Eastern or possibly African or maybe even an Irish dish. Sure. I could do a little Google research to find out but I’m not exactly about that life.

A Shakshouka is basically a hearty tomato sauce in which you poach some eggs. I’ve been eating this for years without any knowledge of it being an actual meal from somewhere on earth. I just thought I was being trashy pouring tomato sauce in a skillet and cooking an egg in it.


Shakshouka what your momma gave ya.

Building a tomato sauce is easy. You literally just need tomato sauce and other shit. Who gives a fuck what you use as long as it tastes decent. If tomatoes aren’t in season your next bet is to use canned crushed and diced tomatoes. Some fresh herbs, spices, a little meat and viola! You’ve got yourself a fancy little fuckin tomato sauce.

I started my sauce with a pound of bacon. I used the grease from the bacon to pretty much cook the rest of the ingredients in my sauce. Some peppers, onions, garlic & spices (paprika, seasoning salt, curry powder, black pepper, dried parsley) TASTE YOUR SAUCE AS YOU FUCKING COOK IT. Don’t be a mutant who just follows a recipe without tasting it during the cooking process.


Once your sauce is made all thats left is to build your fries. A little cheese and an egg. Like I said, typically with this dish you cook the egg right in the sauce, but if you’re not planning on finishing the whole thing in one sitting I suggest just poaching a few fuckin eggs.

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I Once Knew a Man From Nantucket With A Poutine So Good I Would F*ck It. (Lobster Poutine Wrap)

The Lobster Poutine She Told You Not To Worry About

I actually don’t know a man from Nantucket. Despite living my entire life in Massachusetts with dozens of trips to Cape Cod I’ve never even been to Nantucket or seen a man who claimed to have been from there.

I do know that I’ve been caught up in the heat of the potato and gravy moment from time to time and questioned whether or not I should eat or fuck the poutine in front of me. This is one of those moments.

When it comes to poutine I’m usually a basic bitch. Gimme fries. Gimme curd. Gimme gravy. I don’t like to stray from that path too much, but every now and again the THC gets ahold of my skeleton and shakes me into fuckin skeletal submission. 

With this recipe we’re taking a classic fork food and turning it into a handheld potato, cheese and seafood torpedo that will be directed straight at your fuckin gullet.



The real star of this clusterfuck for me is the clam chowder gravy – which is clam chowder that’s thickened up with a cheesy bacon roux. Smother some fries, lobster and cheese with with this magical cheese & clam bukakke and you’ve got yourself a one way ticket to Creamsville. Population: Your pants.

 

 

Chicken Parmesan French Fries

I love french fries. Like…love french fries. I could eat them every day, all day. I also love topping fries with all sorts of random shit. I try to always make a “theme” with my fries. Steak & Cheese. Breakfast Fries. Spaghetti & Meatball. The real ticket with loaded fries is starting with the proper fry.

For these classy as fuck chicken parm fries I used the highest quality of frozen fries I could get my grubby mitts on. Those fries are Ore Ida Bold & Cripsy “Zesties”

Since I was using frozen fries there was no real need to go all it with the chicken parm essentials. If I had hand cut my own fries I probably would have went all out and made a nice try of chicken parm, a quick 5 minute scratch tomato sauce and so on. I kept these fries classy with a jar of Ragu, some Sargento Cheese and chopped up Perdue chicken cutlets.

Extremely easy to make and only cost me about $10. I made one huge portions but for that $10 you could honestly split this into 4 decent servings.

Giant Smiley Fry

Fryghtening. Horrifrying. Fryeightful. These scary giant smiley french fry puns doing anything for you?

me neither.

We’re back with another giant food recipe. I could honestly go on for weeks – if not months – with giant recipes, but I feel like that scab has been picked until infected. The giant food boat has sailed. Hopefully it capsizes out at sea and we never fucking see it again.

But we’ll squeeze one more in because that’s what we do around here.

Channel Your Inner Mexinadian With This Poutine Taco

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Just adding more to the ever growing list that is my taco resume. How’s your taco resume? It ain’t fucking shit, that’s how it is.

Burger & Fry Taco
Ramen Taco
S’mores Taco
Thanksgiving Taco
Spaghetti & Meatball Taco
Reuben Taco
Big Mac Taco

and now THE POUTINE TACO.

I don’t know how I slept on this idea for so long. You’d think after doing the Burger & Fry Taco this would have naturally followed, but I guess we have Anheuser Busch to thank for my lack of thought…process…ability?

I literally have no idea what the fuck I’m trying to say right now.

If you’re sick and tired of having yourself a regular ass poutine, switch that shit up and make a Poutine Taco.

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Shepherds Fries

Todays mid-week recipe inspiration comes from a local spot in my hometown where I like to drink Jameson & Gingers and forget about giving a fuck.

That spot is the Tavern, and they knock it out of the fucking park. Prime rib specials, legit as fuck wings, soups that’ll knock your tits off, popcorn, Keno…you fucking name it.

Two of my favorites down there are their Shepherds Pie & their French the fuck onion soup (made with prime rib drippings)

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Today, I combined the two (sort of) and made a big ol fucking’ pile of Shepherds Fries.

 

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