Giant Pizza Ravioli

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That nice thing about a pizza ravioli is that instead of using pizza dough you use a giant ravioli.

You can fill it with whatever you want but you should probably listen to me when I tell you to fill it with cheese, bacon & jalapeños because I’m fucking smarter than you when it comes to this level of scumbaggery.

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My apologies for the run on sentence. This is the part of the blog post where I tell you I’m sorry for the lack of blog posts and blah blah blah – go fuck myself.

The reason I haven’t really posted – other than the fact that I’m just a lazy cunt – is that when I share a blog post link to Facebook these days it only ends up reaching about 1000 people out of the 250k+ fans of the Facebook page, which is strange because if I share a super spicy meme it’s reaches roughly 30k+. Kind of disappointing since only a few years ago I could reach that with a crummy blog post.

I’m told that this has a lot to do with Facebook’s algorithm and the content checks it does…so what we’re doing here today is a bit of a test. I’m going to put a little more content in this post and we’ll see where that gets us!

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Back to the giant fuck of a ravioli.

Making a giant jalapeño popper-esque pizza ravioli isn’t a difficult task, but it is a task.

Since giant raviolis don’t exist in grocery stores you’ll have to make your own – starting with the dough.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you step-by-step how to make pasta dough – that’s what YouTube is for – but the process is pretty straight forward:


Pile of flour – a few eggs – a little EVOO. I would suggest giving this a few trial runs. I’ve made pasta dough a few times now and I’m borderline Gilbert Grape so if I can do it you cunts shouldn’t have an issue. After your dough has been made, rested & ready to roll out you can start making this giant fuck.

-fill dough
-make ravioli
-smoke break
-boil ravioli
-smoke break
-put pizza shit on top of ravioli and bake the fucking thing.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

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You can honestly fill your ravioli with whatever the fuck you want. I went with a jalapeño popper story line because that’s the kind of mood I’ve been in.

Now if you haven’t punished yourself enough with reading this blog post here is a video of me gargling words and showing you how it all went down.

Giant Stuffed Tater Tot

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Tater tots. I’m not sure why we haven’t completely replaced french fries on menus with tots at this point in history. They’re crunchier on the outside, creamier in the middle, easier to dress up, and flat out just fucking taste better.

But few places actually serve them and I can’t figure the fuck out why.

The only way to fill your tot fix is to eat a fucking trash bag full, or make a huge as fuck stuffed one.

I’ve actually had a giant tot before from The Easy Pie in Braintree, MA and it was fucked up delicious. Like the type of fucked up where you would let Casey Anthony babysit for the weekend while you were away. The kind of fucked up where you would let Ray Rice take your daughter to an elevator museum.

The recipe is fairly simple. Peel and boil about 7 large potatoes for 10 minutes. Run those fuckers through a cheese grater and mix with a few fist-fulls of shredded cheese, bacon, and whatever the fuck ever. Load the mixture onto some plastic wrap, and roll that shit up. Stick in the freezer for a couple of hours.

*make sure the tot will fit into your shitty fryer before freezing.

Remove from the freezer and fry at 375 for 10-15 minutes.